Accepting What Is: A Path to Peace
“Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.”
– Eckhart Tolle
The Eckhart Tolle quote above has always struck me as one of the most profound keys to peace. It points to a simple but often overlooked truth: so much of our suffering comes not from what is happening, but from our resistance to it. We tell ourselves stories about how things “should” be, how people “should” act, how life “should” unfold. And when reality doesn’t match the story, we suffer, and the energy spent in that resistance is immense.
Even when we notice our resistance, letting go is rarely easy. Resistance can feel like a reflex, but acceptance is the doorway to freedom… not the freedom to control our lives, but the freedom of our hearts and minds.
Here are some practices applying the ARC Framework™ (Awareness-Regulation-Connection) to help you meet what is:
1. Notice Your Resistance (Awareness)
Begin by observing without judgment. When you feel frustration, grief, or discomfort, ask yourself: “Am I fighting reality right now?” Simply naming the resistance can soften its grip.
2. Breathe Into It (Regulation)
Anchor yourself in the body. Slow, conscious breaths remind the nervous system that it’s safe to be present.
3. Radical Acceptance (Connection)
Say to yourself: “This is what is happening. I can meet it as it is.” Acceptance doesn’t mean approval or passivity; it means stopping the internal struggle and conserving energy for what truly matters.
4. Practice “Yes” Meditation (Regulation + Connection)
Silently offer your moment a simple “yes.” Let it exist without needing to fix it. Begin with small moments — a traffic jam, a delayed meeting — and extend the practice to bigger challenges.
5. Shift from “Should” to “Is” (Awareness + Connection)
Notice the mental habit of “shoulds.” “This shouldn’t be happening” is a one-way ticket to suffering. Replace it with “This is happening. How can I respond?”
6. Observe Impermanence (Awareness + Regulation)
Everything changes, even the heaviness of suffering. Remembering this softens resistance and cultivates patience.
7. Practice Self-Compassion (Awareness + Connection)
Resistance often comes with self-judgment. Be tender with yourself. “It’s okay to feel this. Feeling it doesn’t mean I’m failing.”
The work of acceptance is subtle and ongoing. It asks for awareness, presence, and patience. But the reward is profound: less struggle, more clarity, and a mind that is awake to the richness of what is!
If you’re ready to move beyond resistance and experience the freedom that comes from fully accepting what is, let’s work together. Through one-on-one coaching, or in my group courses, I’ll guide you in applying the ARC Framework™ to your life, helping you cultivate awareness, regulate your nervous system, and connect deeply with yourself.
Reach out, I would love to hear from you! Contact me